Tuesday, May 1, 2007

Bring me the head of Joe Torre

So here we are -- it's a whole month into the baseball season. It's May. New York Yankee principal owner and chief poobah George Steinbrenner has told one and all that he has faith in Manager Joe Torre and General Manager Brian Cashman.

So, of course, it's time to play Bring Me The Head of Joe Torre.

The contest works along the same lines as Bring Me The Head of Alberto Gonzalez. (In case Mike and the Mad Dog is your idea of hard news, Gonzalez is the Attorney General of the United States and is in trouble. President Bush has given Gonzalez his absolute backing, which, of course, means he's on the way out.)

So, the contest works this way. Pick a date for Torre to go and either put it as a comment on this blog post or send it as an e-mail to me. My e-mail address is somewhere on this blog.

The person who comes closest to the actual date that Torre gets his walking papers wins a Len's Lens T-shirt, if we ever print them.

Just as a clue, my son-in-law Mike, who differs from me in that he actually knows something about baseball, says he thinks it'll be around the All-Star break.

As a tie-breaker, also indicate if you think Torre or Gonzalez will be the first to go. If you get both, you get two T-shirts and if enough people enter the contest, it will be an impetus for us to actually get off our duffs and make up some T-shirts.

Oh, yes...if you are one of the few, the proud, those who have entered the Gonzalez contest the first time around, you can do it again here. We'll count your closest entry. Who knows, you may be one of the few and proud to wear your Len's Lens T-shirt.

You can wear it to Yankee Stadium to see if new manager Don Mattingly can do any better than Torre. Tickets are on you.

You can do your research at www.donmattingly.com. No kidding, Donnie Baseball has his own Web site, dedicated to (wait for it now) Don Mattingly. You can read interviews, buy signed stuff and everything.

Gee, Torre's Web site has only his foundation that promotes safety for children and freedom from abuse at home.

As a Red Sox fan, I'd much rather have the Yankees managed by a guy who wants to sell stuff with his name written on it than a guy who actually cares about kids and their safety.

Makes it easier to hate the team, you know.

So, c'mon George. Get out the hatchet.

By the way, I'm picking John Quincy Adams's and Yul Brynner's birthday for the day Joe gets it.

When's that? Look it up.

I can't do everything for you.

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