Monday's blue when you're sick

You know you're sick when people who usually don't notice other people tell you to go home and get into bed.

Ah, well. I was planning to show up at the Omni Hotel today (June 11, 2007) to see if I could be an extra in the new Indiana Jones film that will be shooting in New Haven one day later this month and a day in early July. You never know. I can just see what would go on if I showed up sounding like Lorch in The Addams Family and looking like I was headed to my own funeral. C'est la vie. I guess I wasn't fated to be a movie star.

When we last communicated, our friend Paris Hilton had not gone back to jail, had not found God and BaBa WaWa, presumably in that order. BaBa WaWa is Barbara Walters for those not old enough to remember the first few seasons of Saturday Night Live. She's going to change her ways, and become a shining example for what a young woman should be. As Maurice Chevalier sang, "Oh, I'm so glad that I'm not young anymore." That was in the movie, "Gigi."

As we visit, the Senate is about to pass a no-confidence resolution against Attorney General Alfredo Gonzalez. Big deal. Somebody ought to tell Sen. Arlen Specter of Pennsylvania that we don't have a parliamentary system and that votes of no confidence mean nothing. Gonzalez is ignoring it, as is President Bush (along with a lot else) and that kind of self-pleasuring is covered in the Bible under "don't."

By the way, I give up. I'm going to name a winner in the Bring me the Head of Alberto Gonzalez contest. ESBE communicated with me a while ago, claiming to be the winner of the contest because of the latest date. I asked for a couple of more weeks, hoping others would jump on the bandwagon. Nah. So, ESBE, please contact me and we will arrange for you to tell us all how you have gotten inside George W. Bush's brain (poor person).

You opted for your 15 seconds of fame instead of a Len'sLens T-shirt (in case we ever make any.) So congratulations and get in touch. The Bring me the Head of Joe Torre is still going on. If a few of you want to start a Will Bush Pardon Libby and When poll, let me know. If a few are game, we'll start it and maybe have a real prize.

Did anyone read the account in the New Haven Independent (NewHavenIndependent.org) about smashed car windows and their consequences. It's a neat slice-of-life story.

Finally, I wonder what's going on at The New York Times.

They did a feature about moving from their old building to the new one, complete with photos of folks working over the years. They had a shot of what looked like the copy desk, although they didn't identify it, but the caption talked about old-time typewriters and such. The picture was clearly taken at the earliest in the 1970s, with men with long sideburns and editing tubes, rudimentary computers that couldn't be more than 30 years old. I guess whoever laid that page out was very young.

In the Connecticut section, the food critic talked about a restaurant on Campbell Street in West Haven, while the call-out box correctly put the place on Campbell Avenue. I'm not one of those nutcases who launch a fit if we call Edgewood Way as Edgewood Avenue or say Chapel and Church streets instead of Church and Chapel. But be consistent.

By the way, doesn't anyone in Connecticut have an opinion any more? This week, on the Opinion page, there was a letter about Mayor Mike Bloomberg's plan to charge $8 to anyone going too far into Manhattan -- from the head of the New York Citizen's Budget Commission. There was a letter about school lunches and nutrition from a woman in Chappaqua. You know, where Bill and Hillary live. She was carrying on about how much less junk food was sold in Katonah-Lewisboro. Man, it's hard to figure where someone in Chappaqua would be jealous about anything. And finally, the op-ed piece was about drinking on trains by the Suffolk County representative on the Metropolitan Transit Authority board.

I'm anxious to read that.The last time I looked, the Long Island Rail Road didn't go into Connecticut or anywhere near it So who cares about some guy who thinks it's impolite to drink on trains.

And finally, they viewed with alarm the story of State Sen. Louis DeLuca, who was accused of asking a trash hauler with reputed mob ties to have a talk with his granddaughter's husband, who he thought was abusing her.

First of all, nobody cares about that. I think many people, given the chance, would do the same thing Yes, yes, I know it makes a senior senator beholden to a man accused of having mob ties. But I'm more worried about his not reporting a bribery attempt, even though he refused to take the money.

I used to be in charge of laying out a paper with 11 zones and finding enough copy from those zones to fill the space with stories people in those zones wanted to read. I didn't always succeed. But I also didn't have the resources of the Great Grey Lady. C'mon people at the Times. You can do better.

Time to go sneeze. See you all anon.